Saturday, October 25, 2008
the good life
My baby is lying in my lap on a pillow, eating and farting, smiling at me whenever he catches my eye. Does life get any better than that? I wish I were that uninhibited - I can't even fart in front of my husband (though Lord knows my presence doesn't stop him). This little one makes an art of it. He stops nursing long enough so he doesn't bear down on me (thanks, son!), he scrunches up his face and bends his legs up to his tummy, and he lets one rip. He doesn't care who's around, or what anyone else might think. He has gas to pass, and he passes it by golly!
And then he smiles. He's smiling at me right now. Just gazing up at me as I look down and smile back at him. He has everything he needs. Food, a soft place to lay (lie?) down, and the freedom to do what he needs to be comfortable.
And an adoring momma who thinks even his farts are cute.
And then he smiles. He's smiling at me right now. Just gazing up at me as I look down and smile back at him. He has everything he needs. Food, a soft place to lay (lie?) down, and the freedom to do what he needs to be comfortable.
And an adoring momma who thinks even his farts are cute.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
it's just a really big number...
How many homeless people would $700 billion shelter? How many starving children would it feed? How much armor would it buy for our troops? How far would it take us in research towards a truly clean and efficient fuel source? How many schools would it fund, how many health institutions would it help, how many highways would it repair?
Oh well, I guess those things can wait.
Oh well, I guess those things can wait.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
the work we choose
My mother told me the other day that I am the happiest she has ever seen me. I think I would have to agree.
I was pretty happy when I got married, too. I feel like this is an extension of that happiness, the natural progression and growth of that experience.
This is not to say that motherhood is easy. Far from it! And this is not to say that everything in my life has suddenly fallen into line, I have no more issues to work through. (An even more emphatic "Far from it!")
But I've been thinking about it, and I think there's a difference between "difficult" and "challenging." Motherhood is challenging, the most challenging thing I have ever done. IF was difficult. But there was no enjoyment to IF, while Motherhood is full of joy.
I have never been ambitiously driven in my career. I set milestones to reach, and acheive them. I have a degree in Art, a former career in Web Design, a second degree in Interior Design, and a second career in Kitchen and Bath Design. I worked hard last year to become certified through the NKBA. But I have never felt the need to be the best in my field, to work hard to gain recognition from my peers in the industry. I am happy finding a simple job somewhere and doing it well, working for a company I like and gaining the respect of my coworkers and employers. I have a strong work ethic, but I work to live. My priorities are Family and Friends, time for myself, enjoying life. Life is too short to do a job that makes me miserable, so I find work that I enjoy, but it is still work and it's there to support my lifestyle.
Now my lifestyle has changed, and work doesn't really support it anymore. I have a child, and I have discovered that I am driven like never before to succeed at this. Not to be the Best Mom Ever, or the Perfect Mom, but to do the best job I can and enjoy as much of this as is possible.
When we were still TTC I was drawn to the song "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin" by Colin Hay. I felt it described perfectly the day-to-day waiting of trying to grow my family. Now I'm on the other side, and I still feel that it was accurate. I was waiting, and this is my "real life." This is what it's all about, this is what I want to do.
I will always be a creative person. And I don't want to always be an at-home mome. I love kitchen design, and see myself doing that as my career for the rest of my working life. But I feel it's time for a haitus. I can't return to the office, leaving my son with someone else for the day. I can't pay someone else to do what I consider to be my job. Some women are called to provide for their families and children by working, it makes them better mothers and the family is better for it. But I feel called to provide for my family by being there for my child. This is the most important work I have ever done.
I was pretty happy when I got married, too. I feel like this is an extension of that happiness, the natural progression and growth of that experience.
This is not to say that motherhood is easy. Far from it! And this is not to say that everything in my life has suddenly fallen into line, I have no more issues to work through. (An even more emphatic "Far from it!")
But I've been thinking about it, and I think there's a difference between "difficult" and "challenging." Motherhood is challenging, the most challenging thing I have ever done. IF was difficult. But there was no enjoyment to IF, while Motherhood is full of joy.
I have never been ambitiously driven in my career. I set milestones to reach, and acheive them. I have a degree in Art, a former career in Web Design, a second degree in Interior Design, and a second career in Kitchen and Bath Design. I worked hard last year to become certified through the NKBA. But I have never felt the need to be the best in my field, to work hard to gain recognition from my peers in the industry. I am happy finding a simple job somewhere and doing it well, working for a company I like and gaining the respect of my coworkers and employers. I have a strong work ethic, but I work to live. My priorities are Family and Friends, time for myself, enjoying life. Life is too short to do a job that makes me miserable, so I find work that I enjoy, but it is still work and it's there to support my lifestyle.
Now my lifestyle has changed, and work doesn't really support it anymore. I have a child, and I have discovered that I am driven like never before to succeed at this. Not to be the Best Mom Ever, or the Perfect Mom, but to do the best job I can and enjoy as much of this as is possible.
When we were still TTC I was drawn to the song "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin" by Colin Hay. I felt it described perfectly the day-to-day waiting of trying to grow my family. Now I'm on the other side, and I still feel that it was accurate. I was waiting, and this is my "real life." This is what it's all about, this is what I want to do.
I will always be a creative person. And I don't want to always be an at-home mome. I love kitchen design, and see myself doing that as my career for the rest of my working life. But I feel it's time for a haitus. I can't return to the office, leaving my son with someone else for the day. I can't pay someone else to do what I consider to be my job. Some women are called to provide for their families and children by working, it makes them better mothers and the family is better for it. But I feel called to provide for my family by being there for my child. This is the most important work I have ever done.
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