karate vs. judo

Someone gave me a good analogy today for dealing with difficult people. Karate vs. Judo.

In Karate, force is used to acheive a goal. When you are attacked, you respond with force. If something is in your way, you use force to get to it. Like breaking a stack of boards, or a brick. The person using Karate will invision his goal on the other side of the brick, and strike through the brick to get to it by force.

Judo is different. Force is not used. In Judo, when attacked, you watch your opponent and find a way to deflect the energy away from you. As a result, your opponent wears himself out attacking, running around you, flipping and moving, and someone who's good at Judo barely moves at all. The opponent gets tired, and you stay calm.

With some of the difficult people in my life, I find myself trying to respond to force with force. Attack and counterattack. I end up just as exhausted by this as my "opponent" is, and no one wins. (I'm not saying that Karate is like this - it is only an analogy after all.)

I have no spare energy these days. I'm 38 weeks pregnant, due any minute, and my life is only going to get busier and I'm only going to get more tired. I want to adopt the Judo approach. Deflect. Let the other person wear him/herself out, running around in circles and trying to force change or action. I can avoid the brunt of the attack without actually having to exert myself too much, physically or emotionally.

I've used a variation of this theme in the past. I call it the Wonder Woman approach. I imagine myself wearing those magic bracelets of hers, and when someone lobs a barb at me, *ping!* deflection! But it is still an aggressive role, it takes energy to be Wonder Woman. The underpants help.

But if I can learn this Judo-esque technique for dealing, I think I might be a happier person. My life can stop being about that other person and what s/he thinks of me. I can stop trying to force change in my "opponent."

It sounds peaceful.

military monkey business

DH works for a company that does work for the military, takes bids and builds stuff. Last month he was informed that they had just lost a bid, and that his department was going to shut down in about a month. Which would be now. As I'm going on disability for maternity leave.

How do you spell "stress?"

Since this announcement two people have left his team, leaving basically just him to get the job done. The work load has stayed the same, so that extended his job a bit longer.

Today he came home and told me that the bid they lost was under question. Turns out there was some monkey business going on, the bid went to a European company under some shady circumstances, and McCain said "Uh, not so much, go rebid that."

It's looking like they'll win the bid this time, mostly to save face. It doesn't look good for our military to be outsourcing jobs in any case, let alone in this present economy.

Which means DH will most likely keep his job.

=)

Eddie Murphy

Does Eddie Murphy make movies with anyone but himself anymore?

purty technology

I have always been a Mac girl. As a graphic designer in the '90s, early 2000s, it was the only way to go. But when I made the switch to Interior Design and AutoCad, I had little choice but to switch to PC. It made me sad, and even though my computer is pretty kickass (still, after five years), it isn't a Mac.

With the advent of the iPhone I saw my way back in. I mean sure, I could get a Mac now and run Windows on it. I'd get the form factor that I like, the usability of a Mac for most things, but the power of the PC for AutoCad. But I can't justify getting a new computer just because it's pretty, when mine works just fine. I'll wait for our little one to be big enough to rip the monitor off my laptop, and THEN get a Mac. ;-)

Anyway, iPhone. There's a new one in town. I resisted the first wave, figuring they'd only make it better. They do well with new releases (unlike Microsoft - NEVER jump on the beta bandwagon with MS), but I wanted more from it to justify the cost. Not that it wasn't worth it - Apple usually costs what they're worth. But because I have a cell phone, and an iPod, so getting a new iPhone just wasn't necessary.

Today they introduced the new G3 iPhone. It doesn't have ALL the bells and whistles I wanted (rumor had it at 32 gigs, which just isn't true), but it has some cool goodies. And it's pretty. And I want.

Oh, did I mention? They dropped the price. Considerably. And DH could have my current phone, which would probably get reception at his work (his current POS model doesn't), which means I can reach him when I go into labor. A big fear of mine is not being able to reach him when I need to get to the hospital.

Is that enough of a reason to justify the purchase? ;-)