free toys

I made my first Toy Society toy drop tonight.

I made a bear. It didn't turn out so well. I think in part it was the pattern, it was kind of a goofy pattern. I've made the same bear several times, and every time he's a little bit wonky. This time, I used a suede fabric, and that wasn't very forgiving to my sloppy stitching. Then I overstuffed him. And put too big a face on him. Tragedy.

I emailed the lady who made the pattern, and she helped me with some pointers. I took out about 3/4 of the stuffing, which helped. But he was still wonky and I didn't feel good about giving him to someone I knew as a Christmas gift.

Is that bad? I didn't feel good about giving him to someone I knew, but I was excited about leaving him anonymously for some stranger to find.

Which is what I did. I put him in a baggie with a note that said that whoever found him could keep him, and tied him to the railing in front of the local children's hospital. When we drove by a couple of hours later, he was gone.

Way I figure, a child isn't going to judge him for being wonky. Kids love wonky, oddball, unusual toys to love. And maybe some out-of-sorts kid found him tonight.

There is always the fear that someone will just throw him away. We are a cynical society, skeptical of anything that is free. But I choose to believe that a child who needed an extra hug tonight found him and took him home and cuddled him to sleep tonight.


Wonky Bear

Where he was dropped.

done so far

• one birthday present
  
• five blankets
  
• one teddy bear

It was a busy busy weekend.

holiday preperations

I have decided to seriously scale back our holiday spending this year. Both out of necessity and desire. My husband received notice in July that his job was coming to an end. (Two extensions later, he's finally out of work at the end of the year. Maybe.) I haven't worked since our little one was born last July. Money is tighter than it's ever been for us, though we're still scraping by. But even if we had the fundage, I've grown tired of the greed and commercialism that has become what was once a simple, peaceful holiday.

If I had a million dollars, I still wouldn't want to spend it on lavish gifts for everyone in my address book. And I have plenty of things myself. I don't need to make a list of the DVDs and books and kitchen gadgets I want so someone else can buy them for me (though I could certainly use a new food processor if anyone is so inclined ;-).

I've also become a big believer in Handmade over this past year, maybe a little bit longer. I love to handcraft gifts for loved ones, and I love it when I receive something someone else made just for me, or bought just for me from someone who hand made it. Some of my most cherished possessions over the years are gifts people made for me. My mom makes us gifts every year, and I've started that tradition with my own son. My closest friends are artists of various types, and crafters, and I love to see what they come up with.

This year, we are celebrating the giving side of the season by focusing on the little ones in our lives, and making all of our gifts. My side of the family and we have decided not to exchange gifts for the adults, just for the kids. We're doing a cookie exchange instead of a gift exchange, and I'm very excited about that. My husband's side of the family and we have also called a moratorium on gift-giving. I'm making some gifts for my neices and nephews (hopefully to be sent out on time), and I'm not expecting anything for ourselves.

This past year I made it a goal to hand make at least one component of every gift I gave. I mostly succeded. This next year, I've made it my goal to hand craft every gift, buying very little premanufactured items for gifts unless there's a good reason for it (a book I know someone would adore, for example). We all have enough *stuff* and very little real need for more. My child doesn't need to grow up believing Christmas is the time when he gets every single thing his little heart desires. The holidays are not about greed and gimme. They're about slowing down to reflect on what we already have - our families and homes, our friends and loved ones, plenty of food on the table and warm clothes to wear, the love and grace of our God.

Another tradition I'm starting with my family - started last year, actually - is to be sure to take time to focus our time and energy on someone in need. Last year we gave up a gift of ours to a child in our community who was battling cancer and whose family couldn't afford presents. This year we put together shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. My son is too too young to understand what it's all about, but never too young to start cultivating a spirit of giving.

I'm looking forward to Christmas this year, and not stressing about it all like I often have in the past. I'm pacing myself, doing what I can, enjoying as much of it as I can. It helps to have a little one in the house, and I try to stop and see things through his eyes. It can truly be a magical and wonderful time of the year if I let it.

creative to dos

My list of Creative To Dos, in no particular order:

• make bug quilt
  
• make sleepytime bag for gift
  
• make swimtime bag for gift
  
• make red sling
  
• make black and pink sling
  
• fix bug sling (too long)
  
• make black and pink diaper changing pad
  
• fill new order of wipes, wetbag, longies, and podegi
  
• learn how to make podegi
  
• make about 25 goody bags for party
  
• finish bear for gift
  
• make dress for gift
  
• embellish onesies for gifts
  

Time to get sewing!

thing one and thing two

Thing One
I've done it. I've reached the point where I can comfortably say, "Come on over any time! Our house is always open!" It took a lot of work, a lot of cleaning, a little bit of stressing and yelling, some hired help, and a party deadline, but I made it. We had people over last weekend for Pampered Chef party, and people came over all week. I'm loving it. Now to maintain.

Thing Two
I hate it when I hear people say "I'm not creative." This bothers me to no end, I find it extremely frustrating.

Have you ever seen a child turn away a crayon, saying "I can't draw, I'm not very creative." Of course not! We're born with the urge to create, to explore our world visually. From a Christian perspective, it's only natural that a being made in the image of a Creator God would be creative. From a secular perspective, it's an innate need within us to create order and beauty out of the chaos around us. It's not something we have to learn, in fact it's something we have to UN-learn. We are told we're not good at it, or it's not worth our time, and it falls away.

Granted, some people are born with more inherent skill than others. Some are given more of an urge to be creative. But we ALL have the capacity.

It takes practice to remember our creativity. I try to be creative every day, from creating a new pattern to sew, to designing a new scrapbook layout or website, to sometimes just coming up with a silly song and dance for my baby boy. We get better at things the more we do them, and creativity is no different.

If you don't feel like you're a creative person, but would like to be, just try it out. Practice doing something creative every day. Draw a picture, write a poem, do a little dance. Take up a new creative hobby and start off by following directions and patterns, and before you know it you'll soon be coloring outside the lines and doing your own thing. And having people look at you and say, "You're so creative! I wish I was creative like that." Then you can share you secret with them!

progress

It's May, and I figured it was about time for an update on my progress on living a joyful life as set out in my November posts. (I'd link to them, but I haven't written here since then so just scroll down.)

I am slowly but surely winning the war against clutter in my home. Slowly. But surely. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, three steps back. I get the nursery all organized and clutter-free, and then someone returns a bag of baby clothes I lent them, or my child outgrows his current size, and I have to start all over. But I have a system in place now, so every time it takes me just a little less time to get it under control.

Sometimes it feels more like two steps forward, one step back. This I can live with, because at least I'm still moving forward. I have hired a woman to come help with the cleaning every couple of weeks. This motivates me to get areas of the house organized before she comes so she can really clean. The first time she came, she got to the kitchen and the bathroom. The second time she was able to do the kitchen and bath, and the floors and windows and dusting. She comes back this week, I want her to be able to clean every room of the house.

I am also coming to terms with the fact that having a perfect home is a pipe dream. I can have the family room picture perfect, leave for five minutes, and come back to a disaster. That is life with an almost-toddler. And you know what? Life with an almost-toddler is the most wonderful experience I've ever had, and if that means living in perpetual mess, so be it.

Because perpetual mess doesn't have to mean perpetual chaos. Sometimes a mess is a creative mess. Sometimes you have to make a bigger mess before you can find the system.

Madeleine L'Engle writes of Cosmos vs. Chaos. The act of creation is truly the act of finding the cosmos in the chaos. Our molecules are held together and organized in such a way that we are able to walk around and interact with the world around us. Does that make us any less messy? Absolutely not. Cosmos can be messy, usually it is. But it's how we look at that mess, how we perceive it, how it operates and functions.

So maybe that's a better way to look at things. Cosmos vs. Chaos, instead of Clean vs. Messy.

Finding the joy in the cosmos of my life.